by Desert Nomad
One hour later, Dani returned from the Superfresh with her fresh bounty, having made the most of double coupons and produce sales. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. First was the smell. It was overpowering. Sugary and sweet. Marshmallows. Dani stared at the house. All the windows were white. They didn't have curtains...
Suddenly, something burst out one of the windows in an explosion of glass. It hit the ground, rolled a few times, then jumped up.
"Do NOT go in there!"
"Tab?"
All five feet and one inches of Tabitha Smith was coated in liquid marshmallow. It dripped off her nose and clumped in her hair. She grabbed something out of her hair and threw it on the ground. Dani noticed that it was an electric blue, chick-shaped Peep in the instant before it was hit with a large plasma bomb.
"Tabitha?" she said mildly.
"What?!" she snapped.
"What's going on?"
"What's going on? What's going on?! I'll tell you what's going on! There's Peeps in there. Mean, evil, nasty Peeps, and they've taken over."
"Taken over?"
"They excrete marshmallow. The stuff's all over. They captured everyone."
"Say what?"
"They... captured... everyone. They've got them all wound up in marshmallow. I melted my way out with my time bombs."
Dani started snickering. She just started snickering and couldn't stop. It was just too funny.
"SHUT UP! This is serious."
"Cable would be proud."
"I said, shut up!"
"So let me get this straight. X-Force, commando mutant strike force, has all been seized by pastel-colored, sugar-coated, marshmallow- filled Easter candies?"
"Not all of us. I don't think they got Ric."
"Oh. That's reassuring. The insane guy's still loose."
"Well, you realize that this whole situation makes him... not insane."
"No, he's still insane. He knew this was coming, he's insane."
"Whatever. So did you get anything good at the grocery store?"
"Tabitha! Don't you think we should go in and save them?"
"Speak for yourself, sister. I've had enough marshmallow for one day."
Dani sighed, then her hands flaired as her powers manifested in the form of a psionic bow and arrow. She put on her tough-guy voice. "I'm going in."
Tabby chewed a piece of marshmallow contemplatively. "Suit yourself."
The door slammed open with a magnificent thump! as Dani's foot came in close contact with it. She jumped into the foyer, swinging her bow and arrow around cautiously. Sticky streams of marshmallow hung from every wall like tapestries. Her feet clung to the floor as she crept through the room. It was like being in a giant spiderweb. Nevertheless, there wasn't a Peep in sight. "Maybe they've left," Dani said to herself, hopefully.
Suddenly, there was a muffled sound from upstairs. It sounded somewhat like what happens when one puts the hampster on the little wheel and then spins it really hard. Dani started up the stairs. Something, a creak, perhaps, made her glance backwards. Streams of marshmallow suddenly slung across the staircase, trapping her. From out of nowhere, hundreds of brightly-colored Peeps began to approach her.
Dani loosed an arrow at one of the bigger ones. It slung through the tiny chunk of sugar with no effect. Dani swallowed. Time for plan B. She reached out with her ability to psionically communicate with animals. After all, the thing at least didn't look human.
This didn't work either. Apparently, the things didn't have a central nervous system. "I am so screwed," Dani said to herself. She realized that the Peeps were gathering around her feet. The merged together into marshmallow goo, spreading over the floor. She tried to pull up her feet, but more Peeps hopped on, strengthing the marshmallow. "This is stupid," she reminded herself. "I've fought space aliens, been possessed by demons, and spent time as an Angel of Death. I'm not supposed to be done in by Easter candy." The marshmallow had spread over her legs, up to her knees, and more Peeps had hopped up onto her arms and began to bind her wrists.
Suddenly, there was a deep rumbling. Everything began to shake. The Peeps looked around worriedly. A few hopped away, scared. The half-merged ones began to unmerge because of the vibrations. As quickly as it had begun, Dani found herself standing in a puddle of hardening, albeit nonsentient marshmallow. She felt a tug and her hands were free.
"You okay?"
She turned to face her savior. It was Rictor, holding a pocket knife. Although he was still wearing the pants of his Mighty Mouse pajamas, tucked into an ancient pair of combat boots, he'd stripped to the waist and had a grimy strip of what looked suspiciously like Jimmy's Snorks bedsheets tied around his head. He pulled a string of marshmallow off her face, then proceeded to cut her feet free.
"What did you do?" she asked slowly.
"Vibrated 'em loose. They can't hold together very well until they're fully merged."
"Um, that's great, Ric. Why don't they attack you?"
"I spent a long time studying my enemy. I learned their language and mannerisms. They think I'm one of them."
Dani considered it. "So we're talking limited intelligence here?"
"No. Just bad observation skills."
"Where are the others?"
"I think they're in the Inner Sanctum."
"The Inner Sanctum?"
"With the Queen. I don't know where it is, yet. I haven't been able to broach the higher levels of security..."
"Tabby might know. She got out."
"She did? That's great. Where is she?"
"Outside, with the groceries."
"The groceries... YES! Dani, did you get that instant hot chocolate?"
"Yeah. So?"
"You're a goddess!" he exclaimed, hugging her. "C'mon, let's get out of here."
"Best idea I've heard all day," Dani sighed.
They found Tabby on the lawn, making s'mores using chocolate chip granola bars, her own bombs and the marshmallow covering her body.
"Jimmy's gonna kill you for doing that to his sheets," was her only comment when they returned.
Dani and Ric rummaged through the grocery bags until they found the hot chocolate. Just as they found it, a huge aqua and pink conversion van pulled into the driveway. Ric's face lit up. "The guys are here! I knew they would come!"
"The guys?"
"Yeah. I called for backup this morning. I haven't seen these guys in years..."
The door of the van swung open, and a figure stepped out. He was dressed all in black. Black silk shirt, tight black jeans, black boots, black duster and black sunglasses. His hair was slicked back.
"Julio," he said smoothly. "Good to see you again, my friend."
"Rodriego!" Ric exclaimed, embracing his friend. "Yo, man, what've you been doing since grade school? You look like an assassin."
He peeled a dried string of marshmallow off his shirt. "I am an assassin. But I took some time off to come and help out my old pal."
"Did you bring the guys with you?"
"The guys? Of course."
As if on cue, the passenger door opened, and a huge, shambling figure stepped out. He was dressed in ratty jeans and an old t-shirt. He was listening to a Walkman that seemed to consume his entire attention.
"Juan! How's your sister? Cute as ever?"
"Urrrgh."
"Good to see you, too Juan."
A third person tumbled out of the van, from the back. He couldn't have been more than five feet tall and was about the closest a human being can come to looking like a chihuahua.
"Hey, Ric, good to see ya. Heard you had some trouble. Just like old times, huh? Good times, good times..."
"...And Pedro. Good to see you, Pedro."
"Yo, man, I'm on the job, right now. Use my nom de guerre. Hey, that's French. Pretty cool, man, huh?"
"Pedro. You never had a nom de guerre. You don't do anything."
"Sure I do, man. I'm the pyrotechnic expert," he said, whipping out a lighter. After six or seven tries, he got it to light.
"Pyromaniac, maybe," Rodriego mumbled.
"Just call me... Meltdown."
"Let's not," Tabitha announced, suddenly involved in the conversation.
"Run into a few of the enemy, huh, sister? Marshmallow's very attractive on you. Ever been to Guadalajara?"
"Let's get this straight," she said, ignoring him. "You can't call yourself Meltdown."
"Why not?"
"Because that's my codename."
"What do you do?"
"I blow things up."
"See, I melt things. Therefore, it fits my profession more."
"I was under the impression that this was sort of a hobby for you, thus putting you at the amateur status."
"True. But I had it first."
"I went through three codenames before I found that one!"
Dani thought about that one. "What else besides Boomer and Boom-Boom?"
"She spent a very short amount of time calling herself--"
"SHUT UP, RIC! It's not important."
"Okay." Ric shrugged.
"Perhaps you'll just have to go back to one of the old ones. I've been calling myself Meltdown since 1989."
"Aurrrggghhh!"
"Let him keep the codename, Tabby. You can have it back after he leaves."
"You're lucky I'm above you, you little twerp," Tabby growled.
"Who are these people, anyway, Ric?" Dani asked.&127;
"Oh. Well, remember when I was telling you about the Guadalajara Invasion of '83?"
"Yeah?"
"Afterwards, the four of us made a pact and swore 'never again.' We trained ourselves to be prepared for any contingency. And so, the G.I.M.P.S. were formed."
"The G.I.M.P.S.?!" Dani and Tabitha exclaimed together.
"Guadalajara Irradication of Mutant Peeps Society," Rodriego intoned.
There was a moment of silence. "That's eradication. With an E," Dani finally said.
The G.I.M.P.S. exchanged glances. "Juan, make a note," Rodriego ordered.
"Guys, we're wasting time. They have hostages," Ric interrupted.
"Hostages? How many? Where?"
"Yes, four, and... Tabby?"
"The upstairs linen closet."
"They do like whites..." Rodriego mumbled to himself.
"How on earth did they fit three normal-sized people and Jimmy in a linen closet?" Dani asked.
"They're pure evil, Dani," Ric said. "Don't try and interpret their ways." He turned to the other G.I.M.P.S. "We've got hot chocolate."
"Excellent," Rodriego agreed.
"I'll ask, what's with the hot chocolate?" Dani finally bit.
"They're marshmallows. All marshmallows fear hot chocolate."