The Dishwasher Isn't Evil -- Or Is It?
Disclaimer: "The New Mutants" are copyrighted by Marvel Comics. This is a work of fanfiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Characters: Rahne, Dani, Roberto
Type: short and humorous
Summary: Rahne reflects upon modern technology.
Linguistic Disclaimer: I do not write accents because I think they make dialogue difficult to read and I cannot do them anyway.
Feedback: Always. I would especially like to know whether I wrote Rahne's voice in a convincing way (apart from the accent) and whether the banter between Dani and Roberto sounds right.
"Come on, lass. You can do it, Rahne. You just need to open the door of the dishwasher and put in the used plates and forks and knives and pots and pans. It's simple. Everyone can do it. Even you," I tell myself.
Maybe I should do the dishes manually in the sink? Reverend Craig always said that modern kitchen devices are evil, for men are meant to work hard, and, if such modern contraptions relieve them of their toil, the devil will occupy their idle hands.
But Reverend Craig also said that my mutant powers are evil, and they are not. There is nothing wrong with making hard work easier. I will not become evil because I sit in a comfortable chair or watch TV or use a dishwasher. Dishwashers aren't evil.
I asked Dani if she though modern technology was bad and she said no, she believed there was nothing wrong with having a comfortable life or enjoying oneself as long as one made wise use of technical inventions.
Modern medicine, for instance, is good. Dani would be dead if not for modern medicine, which saved her when she was attacked by the demon bear.
Sam keeps telling me that after hard work one has the right to rest. And I have been working hard today. I finally learned how to change a file name and how to copy a file onto a disk without using Windows-Explorer. I'll never be as good with computers as Doug, but at least I no longer feel helpless toward them. Computers can be handy if one knows how to use them.
TV is acceptable. I mean, I don't watch all those abominable sex films and I close my eyes whenever there is somebody naked or half-naked on the screen, but there is nothing wrong with having fun with my friends. I mean, Magnum P. I. is not the Bible, but I don't think I could convince my friends to sing church songs with me.
Sam is the only one who goes to church with me on Sundays. Doug says he does not believe in a supreme being, Dani meditates in nature and Amara has her Roman gods -- I don't understand how she can worship beings that are so much like humans with all their faults and vices -- but Amara is my team-mate and I trust her.
They have saved my life more then once, and I know that they are good people, even if they do not share my beliefs -- like Amara or Dani -- and I want to participate in their free-time activities.
If I do the washing-up by hand, I won't have time to watch a movie with my friends this evening. Dishwashers are _not_ evil.
I will open this door now and put in the forks and knives first. That's the easiest task.
Ouch. I hurt my leg on the door.
Ok. The plates come next. They barely fit but, after some arranging, it works.
Fine. Finally, the pots and pans.
Argh. How come I can't fit kitchenware for eight people into a dishwasher designed for 15?
Perhaps the dishwasher is evil. There are always some traces of dried sauce on the spoons, and the new plates are already losing their colors.
No, Rahne. Don't be silly. None of the others ever have as many problems with it as you. Maybe I'm just too stupid.
Even Illyana and Amara manage to put the dishes into the dishwater, although they had never seen one before.
Although, the fact that Illyana can deal with the dishwasher doesn't mean that it isn't evil. Maybe she cursed it?
No, I'm unfair. Dani says I have to give Illyana a chance. She's not evil, just a sorceress. I can't really see the difference, though.
Probably, I'm just too stupid to fit all the china in. Maybe I should ask Doug for help? He's good at logistics. But he might laugh at me. I don't want him to laugh at me. I mean, he is beautiful when he laughs. He has got nice dimples and his eyes light up. But I don't want him to laugh at me.
Ok. It doesn't work. As always. I'll set the dishwasher in motion now, and I will do the remaining pots and pans by hand.
It's another two weeks until we do the next big, four-dishes cooking evening, and then somebody else will have to do the washing up, because we each take turns. I won't have to face that monster again until Wednesday next week.
I hate this dishwasher. I don't believe it isn't evil.
"Hi, Rahne, are you about done? The film starts in five minutes." Roberto peeks in.
I'm embarrassed about him seeing me in my old apron at the sink, brush and sponge in my rubber-clad hands.
"I couldn't fit all the pots and pans into the dishwasher," I stutter, flustered.
"You think we need a new dishwasher?" He gives me one of his flashing smiles. Drying pots and pans suddenly seems less aggravating.
"No, it's -- I just need some more practice."
Dani comes in.
"That's typical, Berto. Instead of helping Rahne, you propose buying a new dishwasher." She grabs a dishcloth and starts polishing a pan.
"I guess you're not used to doing things on your own, huh, Berto? You always rely on servants, human or technical, but you can't do things yourself," she dares him.
He raises an eyebrow. "You're not getting me to prove it before it's my turn in the household rota, Dani."
"You only rinse the pots and pans with cold water and leave them for the next person to scrub clean," Dani protests.
So I'm not the only person who cannot fit the pots and pans into the dishwasher?
"You hurt my pride with that allegation, Dani," Roberto utters and clutches his chest in an exaggerated way. "I use warm water to rinse."
I enjoy listening to their banter. I don't participate because being mean is not in my nature, not even in a playful way, but listening is fun. I smile broadly at the water comments, when suddenly I realize that our kitchen floor is currently flooded with it.
"O my god! The dishwasher is leaking!" I exclaim.
"That's evil," Roberto states gravely.
Back to Archive