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I'm not mad about them. About his finding a new love. How could I be? Bright Lady knows he needs one.
She's good for him. I like her.
If I didn't like her, I'd be furious. But she's got nerve, she's got heart... she's got her own problems, but who doesn't? And she loves him, and he loves her too, and this is good.
Not that I'm not jealous.
Well, envious, really. I'm not jealous, not in the biting "You can't have him; he's MINE!" sense of jealous.
That would be very silly and petty of me, considering I'm dead.
Having said that to me bothers him every now and then, when he's with her. It really shouldn't. The bond was never meant to go beyond death in the literal sense, for one thing, and besides -- technically it's several centuries before we made the promise, so to split hairs, it doesn't count. If I were still available to come back to, though, he'd hold it.
He's like that.
It doesn't really make any sense for me to be here. On the other side of death. Yes, I know I'm dead, because I remember dying in his arms. But the psi-link, torn and crushed as it is from his perspective, still holds me to him after a fashion. I can hover here, just the other side of the barrier, and watch him.
With her. Actually, I'd much rather watch him with her than without. He's happier, and there's a sort of vicarious pleasure. Mmm. He's still as handsome as he ever was. Maybe better.
I wouldn't have thought it was possible to feel lust without a body, but for Nathan it most certainly is.
That was never all there was to us, of course. I don't know which really started to attract me -- the glorious aura of the Chosen One, or the boy behind it who never really wanted to be our messiah but did it anyway because it needed doing. Never perfect, never nearly as sure as he pretended.
Oh, how I love him.
Which is why I keep on watching him, still, and why I pushed through juuuuuuust a little bit, just enough to nudge her past her pride and doubts one of those times he really needed a friend.
I can't risk overdoing it though. Not fair to her, and as I said, I like her. I met her once before, in our century, when she came along on a trip with Cable. Took me a little while to figure out it was really him. She made quite the impression though. Spunky.
And I got a little sick of Sanctity's ways of using people quite a while back. Or rather forward.
She would try to use anybody -- and throw them away. Once I figured that out I was almost satisfied when her latest attempt turned the tables on her. This may have been his only redeeming quality.
He might look like Nathan outside, but to another telepath, he's hideous.
He's also NOT worth -- stab his eyes! Nathan, get BACK here, you have better things to do than deal with that piece of trash who got resurrected without his BRAIN somehow anyway.
And quit fretting over it. You're eating yourself up inside. You don't honestly think it bothers him that you hate him, do you? So you're only hurting yourself.
Don't keep it up on my account. Oath. The fool actually thought he could win me over, you know that? I laughed in his face. In retrospect, that was probably a mistake. Nasty temper.
Now quit wasting your mental energy on him. After that last stunt in Latveria, of all places, he's not going to be up to much for a while.
Do what you're meant to do, Dayspring. Hope-Bringer.
And keep your own hope alive.
And never forget who you are. Not what.
And -- where do you think you're going?
This would be so much easier if he could actually hear a word I'm thinking.
I don't believe this. I don't. Actually, I do. It's just LIKE him. He just walked away from her. Pushed her away with his words and then left. Put her in danger, indeed. She's always in danger.
Bright Lady, I hated it when he tried to do that to me. Time was I could still take him down eight times out of nine and he'd try to keep me where it was safe!
It's very hard sometimes, loving Nathan. Actually, it's pretty much impossible to stop once you get started, but ever since I've known him he's been trying to get rid of people who care about him to try to keep them safe. Which is sweet, in its own rather warped way, but it's very frustrating.
And she gets alarmingly reckless sometimes too, when she feels frustrated. Or insecure.
I'll see you in your dreams tonight, Nathan. If you haven't made up with Domino by then I'm going to kick your tail until you wake up and do.
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