The Second-Best Way To Prevent Hypothermia
by Alicia McKenzie
DISCLAIMER: Characters are Marvel's, not mine. Used without permisson, no money, don't sue. ;)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Technically part of my Wild Pack series, I guess, but more silly than substance. :)
DEDICATION: To Brooke. Happy birthday!!! <hug> :)
"The next time you offer to fly the helicopter, remind me to jump out of it first!"
Wincing as she disinfected the gash on her arm, Domino tried to ignore the spectacle of Cable chewing out the Pack's newest member. *He was as hard on me, back when I joined up,* she reminded herself. *It'll do Kane good. Toughen him up a bit.* Besides, Kane really did deserve at least a LITTLE kick in the ass for piloting them into the side of a mountain a hundred miles from Nowhere, Alaska. Pure luck - and not all hers - that they'd all lived through the crash.
"OATH! When I said pull up, I meant pull UP! Not dive for the treeline! What did you do, leave your flonqing brain behind when you packed for this job?"
"I'm SORRY. . ." Garrison was almost cringing.
*Oh, WRONG thing to say, Gar. . .* Domino thought ruefully, and braced herself for the inevitable explosion.
"SORRY?!?!?! Sorry has. . ."
"No meaning," Domino murmured in unison with Cable, and smirked at the thoroughly nasty look she got in return. "Look, Nate, chill, okay?" she said easily, not flinching under the glare. Kane gave her a look of unutterable gratitude. The expression was so piteous it left her struggling to keep a straight face. "No real harm done, except to the chopper. I mean, we were on our way out, so the job isn't an issue. Just radio G.W. and tell him and Ham to jump in the back-up chopper and come pick us up."
"The radio looks like Grizzly SAT ON IT!"
"I'm not sure I didn't," Theo grumbled, emerging from the wreck with another armful of salvaged gear. He laid the second medkit, the extra case of ammo and what looked like a box of emergency rations down on the ground with exaggerated care. Straightening, he muttered a curse under his breath and clutched at his side. "Kind of lost track of what way was up, when we went down."
"What's the damage, Theo?" Domino asked as she finished bandaging her arm.
"Just dinged my ribs, I think."
"What about you, Gar?" Domino asked before Nate could start ranting at the kid again.
"I'm fine, ma'am," he muttered, staring at the ground.
Domino sighed and stood up, rotating her shoulder experimentally. She'd been thrown into the side of the helicopter pretty hard when they'd crashed. *Doesn't feel dislocated. . .probably just bruised.* "What did I tell you about that ma'am crap, Kane?" She couldn't be much more than five years older than him, damn it. . .
"Umm. . .sorry, Dom," Kane said, and then glanced at Cable almost furtively, as if he expected to get chewed out for the apology. He tried to get up and then sank back down onto the rock he'd been sitting on, face white.
"Fine," Domino muttered, limping over and taking a look at his leg. Which was at a very odd angle, she noticed almost immediately. "Stow the machismo, Kane, we've got enough of that around here." She ripped the leg of his pants open and scowled. Bruising, already starting to swell. Didn't take a M.D. to figure out what was wrong. "Congrats, Gar, you're going to be hopping around on crutches for the next several weeks."
"Aw, shit. . ."
"At least it's not your neck," Domino said with a determined sort of cheer. "Theo, give me a hand here. . ."
Busy splinting Kane's leg, she didn't notice Cable vanish into the wrecked chopper. She noticed him come back out, though, and frowned as he leaned a hand against the side of the wreck, as if to support himself.
"I can finish this," Theo said quietly. "Go check on him."
Domino sighed and got up, heading over to Cable. "Nathan?" she said, a little more gently than she'd spoken to Kane. This sudden silence, after that show of temper, bothered her. Considering that the man worshipped at the altar of self-control, mood swings on his part were a pretty good indicator that something was wrong. "Are you hurt?"
"I'll live," he muttered, giving her what might have passed for a smile under better circumstances. His face was pale, and he looked a little shaky, but she didn't see any visible injuries. "Got so wrapped up in the fact that we were crashing that I didn't bother to strap in."
"Not swift," she said in a dry tone, taking him by the chin and studying his eyes. "Did you hit your head?" A little hard to tell if his pupils were dilated equally, when you could only see one. . .
"Might've. Vision's a little blurry." He took her wrist and removed her hand. "The beacon's working, but the radio's scrap," he said, squinting down at her as if he was having trouble focusing on her face. "Not sure I can 'call' for help, either. G.W. and Hammer are just about out of my range, and a knock on the head always flonqs up my telepathy. . ." He frowned, blinking rapidly for a moment. "I can't even hear you," he finally said with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes. "Just a lot of static."
"So you can't. . pop us back to Anchorage, either?" She waggled her eyebrows, and was oddly relieved to hear him chuckle. As much as that particular little trick had saved their lives back in Volgograd, she wasn't sure whether she wanted to make a regular habit of it.
"No, I can't teleport us," he said in a voice low enough that Kane and Theo wouldn't hear them. "I told you, I can only do that in major emergencies for the time being."
He had told her, too. Hadn't explained WHY, but then again, she hadn't really expected that, had she? "You said the beacon was working. They'll come after us when we don't show up on time, right?"
"Of course."
She smiled briskly. "Then it's no big deal, is it? None of us are badly hurt, the weather looks like it'll hold," she glanced up at the clear but darkening sky, "so we'll just stay put and wait for them to find us."
"Sounds like a plan."
"That leaves just one problem," she said sweetly. At Cable's questioning look, she grinned. "What kind of an installment plan are you going to use to take the cost of the chopper out of Kane's paychecks for the next few years?"
***
"Weather's not holding, Dom."
"Thank you for that WONDERFULLY helpful observation, Theo."
". . .I'm really sorry, guys. I mean, I don't know how I managed to lose control of the chopper, everything just sort of. . ."
"Dom, couldn't you have given him enough pain medication to knock him out?"
"Shut up, Theo. Nate, make Theo shut up."
"It's SNOWING."
"Um. . .yeah. . ."
"I think we all noticed that, Nathan. So what?"
"It's so. . .pretty."
"Tell me he didn't just say that."
"I think I did sort of see him go head-first into the instrument panel. Only we were crashing at the time, and I was busy trying to. . ."
"Kane. Stop talking."
". . .okay. . ."
"I really like snow. Don't you all think it's beautiful?"
"Yep. Hit his head. I'd bet the bank account on it."
"Theo, shut UP!"
***
"I really am sorry," Kane said fretfully as Domino tucked the blanket around him.
"Don't worry about it. We've all spent much rougher nights than this," she said reassuringly. With night coming on and no sign of G.W. and Hammer yet, they'd come to the conclusion that they were probably staying the night up here. There was only one emergency shelter in the supplies from the chopper, which was definitely not big enough for four. They'd carried Kane in - only made sense, considering he was the worst-hurt of the four of them - and Grizzly had taken the other spot inside with surprisingly little fuss.
*I don't think he wanted the job of keeping an eye on our fearless leader,* Domino thought wryly, smiling at Kane and backing out of the shelter. "Watch him, okay, Grizz?" she said as Theo moved past her to get into the shelter. "Don't let him nod off." The cockpit had taken the brunt of the impact, and she wasn't going to vouch that Kane didn't had other, less visible injuries. She didn't want him going into shock.
Theo grunted. "Long as you do the same with him," he said, jerking his head in the direction of where Nate was wrestling with the roof of the improvised second shelter. She was frankly impressed at how creative he'd managed to get with what they'd salvaged from the wreck, but it still looked mighty drafty.
Domino smiled faintly. "If I can't piss him off enough to keep him awake, I'm losing my touch," she said. "Yell if you need us."
"Will do."
Walking over to the second shelter, Domino was just in time to see Nathan stop what he was doing and stare up at the sky with that fatuous smile on his face again. He reached out and caught a few snowflakes on his metal hand and proceeded to study them intently.
"They're all different," he murmured, staring down at the snowflakes that weren't melting against the cool metal.
"Yes, the snow's very pretty," she said acerbically, picking up the rope he'd let fall and knotting it securely. "You can stay out all night admiring it if you like. We'll just throw your frozen carcass in the chopper when it gets here and thaw you out back in civilization."
He gave her an oddly mischievous look. "You're a grouch."
"I'm a. . .WHAT?" *Now THERE'S the pot calling the frying pan blue, pal. . .*
"You heard me." He knelt down, came up with a handful of snow, and tossed it at her, grinning. "Now you're a snowy grouch."
*If he wasn't already concussed, I'd kick him in the head.* But the way he was looking at her, that strangely, very un-Nathanly irrepressible smile. . .*If this is what a bump on the head does, remind me to push him down the stairs on a regular basis.*
She limited herself to raising an eyebrow at him. "Get in the shelter."
He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. "Okay," he said with suspicious meekness, and got in.
Domino rolled her eyes and followed.
***
"Nate."
"Mrf...flonq...what?"
"Stay awake."
"Oath, I was just resting my eyes. . ."
"Right. Sure."
"Suspicious witch. . ."
"I'm doing this for your own good."
"That's what they ALL say."
"All who?"
"Women. Um. . ."
"Oh?"
". . .I probably shouldn't have said that, should I?"
"Maybe you're not as concussed as I thought."
"Whoops."
"Whoops indeed."
***
"Nate."
"G'way. . ."
"Oh, no, you don't. Wake up. I said wake up. Nathan! Up and at 'em, tiger!"
"OUCH! Quit poking me or I'll. . ."
"What?"
". . .heh. Never mind."
"Oh, Lord. I can sense the dirty grin from here."
"Me? Dirty grin?"
"You, dirty grin. . .SHIT! Your hands are cold!"
"Cold hands, warm heart."
"They're still cold. Keep them to yourself."
"I heard that."
"Heard what? Me telling you not to cop a feel?"
"Um. . .whatever. I was talking about the giggle."
"I do not GIGGLE. Oaf. Schoolgirls giggle. Catholic schoolgirls. Little Catholic schoolgirls in kilts. . .STOP that. . ."
"Yes, you did. I did this. . .and you giggled. Just like that."
"Actually, that was. . .um, more of a yelp."
"You're right. I liked the giggle better. Do it again?"
"Nate?"
"Yes, Dom?"
"Find something better to do with your mouth, okay?"
***
Kane blinked at the distinct sound of a muffled laugh coming from the other shelter. "What do you think they're doing?" he asked tiredly. His leg hurt, his pride hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to the start of the day and do everything all over again. Unfortunately, since that didn't look like an option at this point, all he could do was wallow.
Beside him, Grizzly chuckled. "I know perfectly well what they're doing."
Kane stared up at the canvas roof of the shelter, frowning. "Huh? How can you. . .ohhhh."
"Oh, yeah."
There were half a dozen different ways that was Wrong, Kane decided fitfully. According to what G.W. and Hammer had been trying to teach him about how a proper mercenary behaved, you didn't sleep with your teammates. . .
"Do they do. . ." He hesitated at another laugh, this one a little more high-pitched and distinctly feminine. "Do they, um, do this often?"
"You kidding? They're like rabbits."
"Oh. Um. That's nice, I guess." They certainly sounded like they were having. . .fun.
A lot of fun.
A WHOLE lot of fun.
"Any excuse. At all." Grizzly gave a martyred sigh.
"Really?"
"Yep. Anyplace, anytime."
"Oh."
"OH, YES!"
Kane felt his face flame red at Domino's shout. "They do know we're awake, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"Do they care?"
"Uh-uh."
"Oh. Grizz?"
"What, kid?"
"Are you sure I can't go to sleep?" Kane asked hopefully.
"If I have to listen to them, Gar, so do you."
fin